If you asked me 3 years ago what I thought my pregnancy experience would be like, I could not have even imagined what was in store for me. I thought I knew it all in terms of pregnancy, but my experience seems to be another way that God has taught me some perspective and humility.
I had very few of the common pregnancy "side effects." Almost no nausea or vomiting. Little constipation. Only mild, occasional heartburn (which I seem to feel only in my throat for some reason). No strong food cravings. No anemia, even with a mostly vegetarian diet. No trouble with gaining too much weight. I even had less back pain than usual.
Socially, I was amazed at the outpouring of support and love I received from friends and strangers alike. Strangers on the street would wish me congratulations and ask about the baby. Older ladies would give up their seats on the bus for me. If I mentioned anything about pregnancy or the baby on facebook, and I'd get 30+ likes. I've also found great comfort and support in online forums and a pregnancy support group.
Yet, I had some less common "side effects," most of which I never anticipated or even knew about. Loss of appetite for the first half of the pregnancy. Aversions to some foods I usually like, like pasta and chocolate. Ten nose bleeds after 31 years without ever having one. Being short of breath with exertion early in the pregnancy. Palpitations that heart monitors didn't pick up. Anxiety. Hip pain, and the trouble sleeping for more than 2 hours at a time that it caused. How inevitable it was that walking turned into waddling.
I can't complain, though. I needed to learn that I had a lot to learn...another life lesson to prepare me for motherhood.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
The incredible journey
As I prepare for the birth of my baby this week, I've been reflecting on the journey of how we got here.
While I can't say I'm glad we had such a hard time conceiving this child, it was a valuable experience. It taught me humility. It taught us how to deal with disappointment as a couple. It taught me empathy. It taught me to appreciate the blessings I have.
Who knows if my pregnancy would have been as awe-inspiring for me if I hadn't had to wait so long? All I know is that I cherish every little kick and hiccup. I adore the little whooshing sound of his heart when I hear it at the doctor. I fell in love with a blurry image of a face in an ultrasound photo. I still giggle when I think about being pregnant. I wonder at the fact that there is a little person growing inside of me. How is it possible that everyone in the world came to be this way?
As much as I will not miss the physical discomforts, I think part of me will miss being pregnant. I know there's no guarantee it will ever happen again for anyone, especially for me. Fundamentally though, pregnancy is a means to an end: having a baby. And perhaps I'll spend the rest of my life giggling whenever I look at my son, thanking God that he let me share in the wonder of creating a person.
While I can't say I'm glad we had such a hard time conceiving this child, it was a valuable experience. It taught me humility. It taught us how to deal with disappointment as a couple. It taught me empathy. It taught me to appreciate the blessings I have.
Who knows if my pregnancy would have been as awe-inspiring for me if I hadn't had to wait so long? All I know is that I cherish every little kick and hiccup. I adore the little whooshing sound of his heart when I hear it at the doctor. I fell in love with a blurry image of a face in an ultrasound photo. I still giggle when I think about being pregnant. I wonder at the fact that there is a little person growing inside of me. How is it possible that everyone in the world came to be this way?
As much as I will not miss the physical discomforts, I think part of me will miss being pregnant. I know there's no guarantee it will ever happen again for anyone, especially for me. Fundamentally though, pregnancy is a means to an end: having a baby. And perhaps I'll spend the rest of my life giggling whenever I look at my son, thanking God that he let me share in the wonder of creating a person.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Your Daddy
My dear little one,
I hope some day you understand and appreciate just how excited your Daddy is that you are coming in 3 weeks. As he said last week, "I've been waiting 33 years for this!" He hadn't even turned 33 at that point!
Not a day goes by that he doesn't talk to you, kiss you through my belly, or tell you that he loves you. He loves to feel your kicks; he still gets so excited when he feels "a big one." He also plays games with you through my belly. Sometime you stick out in one spot, and you stay there until he rubs it. When he puts his ear up to my belly to see if he can hear you, you usually kick his ear. Sometimes he pokes in a line across my belly, and you follow the dots.
I know I can hardly wait to hold you in my arms and kiss your sweet little cheeks, but I'm pretty sure Daddy is having even more trouble waiting! We've got a lot to do before then, but March 11 will be a beautiful day!
Much love,
Mommy
I hope some day you understand and appreciate just how excited your Daddy is that you are coming in 3 weeks. As he said last week, "I've been waiting 33 years for this!" He hadn't even turned 33 at that point!
Not a day goes by that he doesn't talk to you, kiss you through my belly, or tell you that he loves you. He loves to feel your kicks; he still gets so excited when he feels "a big one." He also plays games with you through my belly. Sometime you stick out in one spot, and you stay there until he rubs it. When he puts his ear up to my belly to see if he can hear you, you usually kick his ear. Sometimes he pokes in a line across my belly, and you follow the dots.
I know I can hardly wait to hold you in my arms and kiss your sweet little cheeks, but I'm pretty sure Daddy is having even more trouble waiting! We've got a lot to do before then, but March 11 will be a beautiful day!
Much love,
Mommy
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
What we do for baby
My dear little one,
Something about being pregnant with you makes me feel like singing...and like writing songs.
I have been known to change lyrics to songs before, like "The Jimmiest Bear in the World" that I made up for your cousin a while back from the "Captain Hook" song. You seem to inspire me, though, as I make up new songs often now.
Some I make up and sing one day, but they don't stick around. Some have multiple verses that don't all seem to stay in my mind, like "There's a Baby in There" to the theme from Monk. My favorite, which I sing to you often, is "Grow Little Baby" to the tune of the chorus of "Glow Worm":
Grow, little baby, bigger, bigger,
Grow, little baby, bigger, bigger,
Mommy and Daddy love you so,
So grow, little baby, grow
While I like to make up songs and sing to you often, your Daddy likes to take every opportunity to have you blessed by a priest. Every time he sees a new priest or bishop, he asks him to bless you inside of me. I'm almost 22 weeks pregnant now, and in your 19 weeks of life, I think you've been blessed 12 times. The last time, when my friend Fr. Dominic David blessed you, you seemed to kick with joy at the blessing. I guess you like it!
I guess these things are just our way of showing how excited we are to have you in our lives, and how much we love you!
Much Love,
Mommy
Something about being pregnant with you makes me feel like singing...and like writing songs.
I have been known to change lyrics to songs before, like "The Jimmiest Bear in the World" that I made up for your cousin a while back from the "Captain Hook" song. You seem to inspire me, though, as I make up new songs often now.
Some I make up and sing one day, but they don't stick around. Some have multiple verses that don't all seem to stay in my mind, like "There's a Baby in There" to the theme from Monk. My favorite, which I sing to you often, is "Grow Little Baby" to the tune of the chorus of "Glow Worm":
Grow, little baby, bigger, bigger,
Grow, little baby, bigger, bigger,
Mommy and Daddy love you so,
So grow, little baby, grow
While I like to make up songs and sing to you often, your Daddy likes to take every opportunity to have you blessed by a priest. Every time he sees a new priest or bishop, he asks him to bless you inside of me. I'm almost 22 weeks pregnant now, and in your 19 weeks of life, I think you've been blessed 12 times. The last time, when my friend Fr. Dominic David blessed you, you seemed to kick with joy at the blessing. I guess you like it!
I guess these things are just our way of showing how excited we are to have you in our lives, and how much we love you!
Much Love,
Mommy
Thursday, October 31, 2013
"No unnecesary risks"
For the most part, I've had a pretty easy pregnancy. Just a little fatigue. Minimal morning sickness. Still able to wear my [looser] pre-pregnancy clothes at 18 weeks. Other than a decreased appetite from apparent pregnancy gastroporesis, some itchy skin, and my very first nosebleed, things have been going well physically.
I do find myself much more anxious than usual, though. It doesn't interfere with my life in a dramatic way, but I do get more nervous about all the "what ifs" in life. I am generally able to calm myself down with a little logical self-talk and some prayer to help me trust more.
I've also adopted a new philosophy which also seems to help: "no unnecessary risks." If a situation arises where there is some kind of risk involved, but it saves time/money/effort/comfort, I choose the less risky option. I will opt to throw food away if there is any question of its safety, when a few months back I may have eaten it. I didn't do it often before, but now I never jaywalk or walk against a light. While driving, I try to avoid turning right on red lights. Even with medications that are safe for pregnant women to take, I take them as little as possible.
I know it doesn't guarantee that nothing bad will happen to the baby or me, but at least I can say I did everything in my power to prevent it.
I do find myself much more anxious than usual, though. It doesn't interfere with my life in a dramatic way, but I do get more nervous about all the "what ifs" in life. I am generally able to calm myself down with a little logical self-talk and some prayer to help me trust more.
I've also adopted a new philosophy which also seems to help: "no unnecessary risks." If a situation arises where there is some kind of risk involved, but it saves time/money/effort/comfort, I choose the less risky option. I will opt to throw food away if there is any question of its safety, when a few months back I may have eaten it. I didn't do it often before, but now I never jaywalk or walk against a light. While driving, I try to avoid turning right on red lights. Even with medications that are safe for pregnant women to take, I take them as little as possible.
I know it doesn't guarantee that nothing bad will happen to the baby or me, but at least I can say I did everything in my power to prevent it.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Letter to my baby
My dear little one,
You, my child, are the answer to our prayers. The moment I found out you were growing inside me, I wept for joy. I thought I never would be a mommy, but here you are, proving me wrong. Even now, after 14 weeks of knowing you're there, every time I look down at my slowly growing belly, I giggle with delight, thinking about you there inside of me.
I just started feeling your tiny kicks about a week ago. I've always dreamed of what it might be like to feel a baby kicking inside of me. I love feeling your little flutters and movements. Sometimes, if I haven't felt it for a few hours, I'll ask you, out loud, to kick. Being the good baby that you are, you usually do within a few minutes!
Tomorrow, we get to see you again on the ultrasound. Daddy especially loves seeing you on the ultrasounds. He's made videos of each one, and likes to mimic the kicking and "dancing" that you do on them. We still haven't decided if we want to find out if you're a boy or a girl. I guess we'll decide tomorrow!
So, my dear little "Shoebag," as much as I love having you growing in my tummy, I look forward to the day I get to hold you in my arms. You, my child, are a dream come true. You have already brought me such happiness!
With much love,
Mommy
You, my child, are the answer to our prayers. The moment I found out you were growing inside me, I wept for joy. I thought I never would be a mommy, but here you are, proving me wrong. Even now, after 14 weeks of knowing you're there, every time I look down at my slowly growing belly, I giggle with delight, thinking about you there inside of me.
I just started feeling your tiny kicks about a week ago. I've always dreamed of what it might be like to feel a baby kicking inside of me. I love feeling your little flutters and movements. Sometimes, if I haven't felt it for a few hours, I'll ask you, out loud, to kick. Being the good baby that you are, you usually do within a few minutes!
Tomorrow, we get to see you again on the ultrasound. Daddy especially loves seeing you on the ultrasounds. He's made videos of each one, and likes to mimic the kicking and "dancing" that you do on them. We still haven't decided if we want to find out if you're a boy or a girl. I guess we'll decide tomorrow!
So, my dear little "Shoebag," as much as I love having you growing in my tummy, I look forward to the day I get to hold you in my arms. You, my child, are a dream come true. You have already brought me such happiness!
With much love,
Mommy
Monday, May 27, 2013
Couples Book Club
I realized I haven't been keeping up with the marriage-oriented book posts, so I'll just talk about one of my favorites our book club has read lately: The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse by Art and Laraine Bennett.
I read this book about a year into our marriage and gained some really valuable insight. I suggested it to the book club and they jumped on it! It was great to re-read it a year later and still was a worthwhile read.
D and I have very different temperaments. While we were dating, complementing each other by having different personalities seemed ideal, but in day to day life, it becomes...less ideal.
This book helped me appreciate that we are fundamentally different in the way we perceive and react to the world around us, but that neither way was bad. Furthermore, our differences could be a source of growth for both of us, learning to adopt the positive traits of each others' temperaments.
Not to mention it was an easy, entertaining read. It got me thinking back to my psych minor days and missing that aspect of my education. It even got me thinking about going back to school to study psychology more. You know a book has to be pretty good if it piques my interest enough to make me think about giving up all my free time again...
I read this book about a year into our marriage and gained some really valuable insight. I suggested it to the book club and they jumped on it! It was great to re-read it a year later and still was a worthwhile read.
D and I have very different temperaments. While we were dating, complementing each other by having different personalities seemed ideal, but in day to day life, it becomes...less ideal.
This book helped me appreciate that we are fundamentally different in the way we perceive and react to the world around us, but that neither way was bad. Furthermore, our differences could be a source of growth for both of us, learning to adopt the positive traits of each others' temperaments.
Not to mention it was an easy, entertaining read. It got me thinking back to my psych minor days and missing that aspect of my education. It even got me thinking about going back to school to study psychology more. You know a book has to be pretty good if it piques my interest enough to make me think about giving up all my free time again...
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